Flight Attendants love to talk and gossip about the people, company and each other other but what we seem to talk about more than anything else is ourselves. Yes, I have said it out loud. I don't know if we just enjoy hearing ourselves talk or could it be that we are lonely. Who knows why you are seating next to me (a complete stranger/co worker) and telling me about all about your baggage.
I have been referring to the jumpseat for years as baggage claim. Every time the seat is pulled down and the seatbelts are secured you feel the need to SHARE. I hear about your life's mishaps and stories. You never share with me the good stuff going on in your life. Most of the time you are telling me about your issues. It is times like these that I wish the airline would misplace your bags! LOL! You have told me about your husband, kids, mother, father, supervisor, scheduling, sister, brother, aunt and uncle all in three days. I now have a new friend and if my memory serves me right your seniority is all I recall because you are senior to me and chose to work the best position.
Because of our new and special bond, I will not breath a word to anyone about what you have told me about the married older Captain that is sleeping with the young new hire flight attendant that commutes out of New York and how she surprisingly picked up this trip when our gay male flight attendant got sick on our layover in Las Vegas. You did tell me how he really got drunk on our 18 hour layover with some new friends he met that put a date rape drug in his drink and how he does not want it to get back to his male captain boyfriend that no one knows is gay. And how our female First Officer made a pass at him(the gay male flight attendant) because she did not realize that he was gay and they slept together on our layover in Los Angeles the night before and the gay male flight attendant is so worried that it will get back to his Captain boyfriend because the female First Officer knows him. And you almost made me fall off my jumpseat when you told me that both you and the female first officer had a three sum with the same Captain whom no one knows is gay on your last trip!
Girl all I can say is yall are all going to burn in HELL! LMAO...
Smooches from the jumpseat,
Stewardess1908
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
YES, THE TOLIET DOES FLUSH!
As I seat on the jumpseat every flight I am sure to get a number of questions, but the most interesting and the most asked is about the damn lavatory. LOL! What amazes me the most is the look I am sure you see on my face when you ask me these question. I am sorry but I can not figure out how you can not figure it out on your own. Is it because I am sitting nearby or do you just want to interrupt my reading assignment? I am curious. Is there a hidden camera onboard but then I remember the TSA sweep of the aircraft that just took place so that scratches that thought. So today I would like to cover the most reveling questions, thoughts and answers for all to understand how to use the bathroom/restroom/lavatory or what ever you would like to call it.
Before we began I would like to give you a hint.... Reading truely is fundamental even onboard an aircraft. If you ever get the opportunity to look around after you have put your items in the overhead bin and have taken the correct seat, you should just sit there and look around. There are instructions on every door, button, window and wall. Also look above your head, in your seatback pocket and even under your seat. We have even taken the liberty of demonstrating how many things onboard the aircraft operate. So why would we fall short on the lavatory and not leave you any writings on the walls or doors??? Trust me we didn't!
"Is someone in here?" Lesson 1: Occupied, red and green all mean something when it appears on the doors and the wall.
"How do I lock the door?" Lesson 2: Step inside and read the sign/placard. Your privacy is very important to us.
"I can't get the toilet to flush!" Lesson 3: You must press the button that says FLUSH or the picture that corresponds.
"Why in the hell did you leave out of the lavatory and not flush the toilet?" Lesson 4: Be courteous to your flight crew and other passengers. No one would like to smell or see what you had for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack 1,2 or 3. Please refer to Lesson #3 if that does apply.
"Where can I put this dirty diaper?" Lesson 5: Besides the seatback pocket or under the seat try the lavatory. It has a trash can.
"Where is the light?" Lesson 6: We failed you as a passenger and forgot to include this sign/placard. So I will tell you with a straight face this answer, "upon locking the door it will come on".
"Wow it is small in there." Lesson 7: Yeah we don't need you getting comfortable in there more than you already have. The seat was sold to you. Not any area around you were included.
"How do you turn the water on?" Lesson 8: Try the blue and red knobs they tend to release water when it is available.
"I could not get the water out of the sink?" Lesson 9: Push the button inbetween the red and blue knobs we found in lesson 8. I agree you may have to use a little force and the water may not move as fast as you would like but its moving.
"Oops! I did not mean to push that button." Lesson 10: OK, just press it again and Oops, I am sorry that I busted in on you. Its just that pushing that button means that you need our help but cute butt. I needed a pick me upper.
LOL! I hope you all find this as entertaining as I do each and every flight.
Smooches from the jumpseat,
Stewardess1908
Before we began I would like to give you a hint.... Reading truely is fundamental even onboard an aircraft. If you ever get the opportunity to look around after you have put your items in the overhead bin and have taken the correct seat, you should just sit there and look around. There are instructions on every door, button, window and wall. Also look above your head, in your seatback pocket and even under your seat. We have even taken the liberty of demonstrating how many things onboard the aircraft operate. So why would we fall short on the lavatory and not leave you any writings on the walls or doors??? Trust me we didn't!
"Is someone in here?" Lesson 1: Occupied, red and green all mean something when it appears on the doors and the wall.
"How do I lock the door?" Lesson 2: Step inside and read the sign/placard. Your privacy is very important to us.
"I can't get the toilet to flush!" Lesson 3: You must press the button that says FLUSH or the picture that corresponds.
"Why in the hell did you leave out of the lavatory and not flush the toilet?" Lesson 4: Be courteous to your flight crew and other passengers. No one would like to smell or see what you had for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack 1,2 or 3. Please refer to Lesson #3 if that does apply.
"Where can I put this dirty diaper?" Lesson 5: Besides the seatback pocket or under the seat try the lavatory. It has a trash can.
"Where is the light?" Lesson 6: We failed you as a passenger and forgot to include this sign/placard. So I will tell you with a straight face this answer, "upon locking the door it will come on".
"Wow it is small in there." Lesson 7: Yeah we don't need you getting comfortable in there more than you already have. The seat was sold to you. Not any area around you were included.
"How do you turn the water on?" Lesson 8: Try the blue and red knobs they tend to release water when it is available.
"I could not get the water out of the sink?" Lesson 9: Push the button inbetween the red and blue knobs we found in lesson 8. I agree you may have to use a little force and the water may not move as fast as you would like but its moving.
"Oops! I did not mean to push that button." Lesson 10: OK, just press it again and Oops, I am sorry that I busted in on you. Its just that pushing that button means that you need our help but cute butt. I needed a pick me upper.
LOL! I hope you all find this as entertaining as I do each and every flight.
Smooches from the jumpseat,
Stewardess1908
The Joys of My Life.... No Husband or Kids!
After traveling here to Dallas, TX for a family members wedding, I have been posed with the same question over and over again even from those that did my nails at the salon today when they realized I was not the bride to be. Are you really ready to know what the hell is bugging me??? "When are you getting married?" Well let me check my calendar and discuss it over with Prince Charming and get back to you with an invitation about three months before the ceremony! LOL! Do not get me wrong I am not upset about the question but more so about how the deer in headlights stare takes over as I provide my well thought out and pleasant response.
I am comfortable and enjoying where I am currently in my life. I am a flight attendant, real estate agent, student and devoted member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I live a very active life and I am selfish. Yes, I must admit I am a bit selfish with my time and money. I have chosen not to buy diapers and instead purchase birth control pills. I chose not to buy milk over evenings out with my friends. I chose not to save up for a college fund and save up for vacations around the world. I have no limitations outside of funds. I have the most flexible job in the world as a flight attendant so getting time off is never an issue. When I chose to jet set and it interferes with my real estate duties, I team up with another agent to get the transaction closed for a price I am willing to pay. I am just not ready, willing and able to give up my time and money!
Am I not suppose to enjoy the fruits of my labor and the choices I have made in my life? I am enjoying where I am. Trust me, when the next phase comes along I will be just as thrilled and accepting of it as I am in this phase. Many people feel as though all single people are depressed and lonely because they are not tied in a knot to someone special. I do not agree. Most of us date and/or have companions. So we are not lonely we are just not hitched yet and that is OK. Look at Oprah. She is a very successful and powerful woman. Her lack of a husband and children have not hindered her. She has a companion, family, friends and pets that keep her busy.
So I share all this with you to say, don't assume anything about single people or those of us without any kids. Some of us are happy and living full lives. We enjoy where we are and we most importantly love who we are. There are some singles who do not enjoy this phase of life and I wish they would enjoy what God has in front of them right now instead of what is not. We miss so much that life has to offer when we do not live in the moment. The moments are here for a reason. Embrace your moments just like I will continue to embrace these.
Smooches from the jumpseat,
Stewardess1908
I am comfortable and enjoying where I am currently in my life. I am a flight attendant, real estate agent, student and devoted member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I live a very active life and I am selfish. Yes, I must admit I am a bit selfish with my time and money. I have chosen not to buy diapers and instead purchase birth control pills. I chose not to buy milk over evenings out with my friends. I chose not to save up for a college fund and save up for vacations around the world. I have no limitations outside of funds. I have the most flexible job in the world as a flight attendant so getting time off is never an issue. When I chose to jet set and it interferes with my real estate duties, I team up with another agent to get the transaction closed for a price I am willing to pay. I am just not ready, willing and able to give up my time and money!
Am I not suppose to enjoy the fruits of my labor and the choices I have made in my life? I am enjoying where I am. Trust me, when the next phase comes along I will be just as thrilled and accepting of it as I am in this phase. Many people feel as though all single people are depressed and lonely because they are not tied in a knot to someone special. I do not agree. Most of us date and/or have companions. So we are not lonely we are just not hitched yet and that is OK. Look at Oprah. She is a very successful and powerful woman. Her lack of a husband and children have not hindered her. She has a companion, family, friends and pets that keep her busy.
So I share all this with you to say, don't assume anything about single people or those of us without any kids. Some of us are happy and living full lives. We enjoy where we are and we most importantly love who we are. There are some singles who do not enjoy this phase of life and I wish they would enjoy what God has in front of them right now instead of what is not. We miss so much that life has to offer when we do not live in the moment. The moments are here for a reason. Embrace your moments just like I will continue to embrace these.
Smooches from the jumpseat,
Stewardess1908
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