As I seat on the jumpseat every flight I am sure to get a number of questions, but the most interesting and the most asked is about the damn lavatory. LOL! What amazes me the most is the look I am sure you see on my face when you ask me these question. I am sorry but I can not figure out how you can not figure it out on your own. Is it because I am sitting nearby or do you just want to interrupt my reading assignment? I am curious. Is there a hidden camera onboard but then I remember the TSA sweep of the aircraft that just took place so that scratches that thought. So today I would like to cover the most reveling questions, thoughts and answers for all to understand how to use the bathroom/restroom/lavatory or what ever you would like to call it.
Before we began I would like to give you a hint.... Reading truely is fundamental even onboard an aircraft. If you ever get the opportunity to look around after you have put your items in the overhead bin and have taken the correct seat, you should just sit there and look around. There are instructions on every door, button, window and wall. Also look above your head, in your seatback pocket and even under your seat. We have even taken the liberty of demonstrating how many things onboard the aircraft operate. So why would we fall short on the lavatory and not leave you any writings on the walls or doors??? Trust me we didn't!
"Is someone in here?" Lesson 1: Occupied, red and green all mean something when it appears on the doors and the wall.
"How do I lock the door?" Lesson 2: Step inside and read the sign/placard. Your privacy is very important to us.
"I can't get the toilet to flush!" Lesson 3: You must press the button that says FLUSH or the picture that corresponds.
"Why in the hell did you leave out of the lavatory and not flush the toilet?" Lesson 4: Be courteous to your flight crew and other passengers. No one would like to smell or see what you had for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack 1,2 or 3. Please refer to Lesson #3 if that does apply.
"Where can I put this dirty diaper?" Lesson 5: Besides the seatback pocket or under the seat try the lavatory. It has a trash can.
"Where is the light?" Lesson 6: We failed you as a passenger and forgot to include this sign/placard. So I will tell you with a straight face this answer, "upon locking the door it will come on".
"Wow it is small in there." Lesson 7: Yeah we don't need you getting comfortable in there more than you already have. The seat was sold to you. Not any area around you were included.
"How do you turn the water on?" Lesson 8: Try the blue and red knobs they tend to release water when it is available.
"I could not get the water out of the sink?" Lesson 9: Push the button inbetween the red and blue knobs we found in lesson 8. I agree you may have to use a little force and the water may not move as fast as you would like but its moving.
"Oops! I did not mean to push that button." Lesson 10: OK, just press it again and Oops, I am sorry that I busted in on you. Its just that pushing that button means that you need our help but cute butt. I needed a pick me upper.
LOL! I hope you all find this as entertaining as I do each and every flight.
Smooches from the jumpseat,